In memory of Lukas

Today is one of the most difficult days for anyone, saying the eternal goodbye to a family member.

On the 31st October 2009 I received a missed phone call and text from my mother. I knew something wasn’t right as I called her back. The news of Lukas being stillborn had shattered many hearts and hit me as I grappled with not being able to offer physical comfort to my cousins and family.

That day as I went to Peebles, Scotland where ancestors had once resided, I came the resolve that I could do as much from any geographical location as I could in the physical. What I am about to tell you is how I decided to interpret events on this day. Your beliefs and thoughts are also your own. This is what I wrote as I sat by the river in Peebles.

The day I finally said I'm leaving

Pretty close to a year ago I finally committed to the thoughts that had been eating away inside for a long time, and announced I was leaving my job and Australia to see and experience more of the world we live in. Noone was really surprised by my announcement of heading off to travel for a year and for the people I was closest to the reaction was something like; ‘it’s about time!’.

Since then I have made very few ‘plans’ as such. Destinations have arisen more through events and meeting up with family and friends in various locations than specifically where I want to go. Ultimately I want to visit every country around the world and due to this it was difficult in deciding on how to approach an itinerary, where to start? There was so much I wanted to see and do and all within a year! So thankyou to those that have come and spent time with me on my journey as it has actually given me some direction and purpose. A year on and I finally feel that I know where I want to visit and am no longer concerned about ‘time’.

Since travelling there have been a few recurrent themes in peoples questions and comments, regardless of the country I’m in. That of travelling by myself (or at least predominantly), being lonely and what about relationships, meaning marriage and kids.

The journey begins!!

My journey is certainly well underway and still far from finished. Though few people know what I have been up to for the past 10 months and this is purely due to my feelings of needing to escape. To turn my back on what was at home, what was known, and focus on travelling, sightseeing, adventure of the unknown.

This has certainly created a sense of anguish with my family as they have wanted to be a part of what I was undertaking and experiencing, yet I wanted the freedom. Don’t get me wrong this actually had nothing to do with my relationship with my family. I am very close with immediate and extended family. I purely needed time to find ‘me’ away from the world that I had created in a familiar and safe environment.

So slowly I started to tell more about my experiences; where I was, what I was doing and what I was planning, though rarely regular and definitely not detailed. Understandably a lot has happened over the past year and now I will share this with family, friends and whoever wants to be included in my journey.

First a little history or what has brought me to this point (well what think currently anyway)…