In memory of Lukas

Today is one of the most difficult days for anyone, saying the eternal goodbye to a family member.

On the 31st October 2009 I received a missed phone call and text from my mother. I knew something wasn’t right as I called her back. The news of Lukas being stillborn had shattered many hearts and hit me as I grappled with not being able to offer physical comfort to my cousins and family.

That day as I went to Peebles, Scotland where ancestors had once resided, I came the resolve that I could do as much from any geographical location as I could in the physical. What I am about to tell you is how I decided to interpret events on this day. Your beliefs and thoughts are also your own. This is what I wrote as I sat by the river in Peebles.

A life so pure, you departed so young. Never known though truly loved. With physical passing we’ll keep to the thought that your soul is free and protected by the angels that have gone ahead. Like the leaf that has just landed in my lap occurrences to note that you are where you are needed most.
- The dust gliding upon the still air within the church, illuminated by the suns rays streaming through the tall windows.
- Bells chiming the second I opened the doors to depart.
- ‘Love’, ‘Live’ in the window of a shop.
- The black Labrador that stopped, gazed and waited for a pat regardless of its owner ahead.
- The colourful fresh flowers placed in front of gravestones and the little angel that was pure white against the aged stone.

- The passing smiles and words of ‘hello’ ensure us that we’re not alone.
- The 'remembrance' sign and flowers.
- The swan that followed me up stream.
- The sheep that stared until I turned my head noticing the leaves blown from the tree and into the paddock.
Though no matter what I noticed and take to heart how do I help those that have lost. Your departure is like a stone dropped in the water and at the moment the ripples are large. Only time can placate the pain and grief. Love will always remain.

I am still travelling with the leaf. It will forever remind me of those I love and the life that I’m living.